Saturday, March 26, 2011
I know a lot of you follow me on facebook that way you can keep tabs on my crazy life, but I know that blogging is not the same.
Soooo much to tell... Don’t even know where to start. So here goes nothing... The last time I blogged was my work Christmas party. Gosh that’s three months ago.. I'll just hit ya'll with the highlights. Christmas was awesome. I worked Christmas Eve and Day, but then went with my parents to my Aunt and Uncles house in North Carolina. I was able to experience my first ever white Christmas. It was my first time ever in the snow. I love being a Florida girl, but it was nice to play in the snow. New years I spent with my Brother, Sister in law, and a few close friends in Fernandina Beach, Fl. our local spot. It ended up being a big night for me cause I closed the door to a very long, long idea of a relationship I was making up in my head with a guy that never wanted me, but in my head I have had our life planned out for years. He is a very good friend. That I do love very much, but only as my friend. I am so thankful for that night. I had finally reached my breaking point and knew I had to let go of the idea of there ever being anything more. It opened my eyes up that I was just holding on to the idea of us for the past couple of years because I thought I would never be good enough for anyone, and what we had felt perfect. Now I know I am good enough to be loved by someone. I just got to find him and never settle. Ya’ll got a brother you want me to meet hahah.. Just kidding. Moving on. In an effort not to hurt my family that read my blog with to many details on Jan 9th tragedy struck my family with the worst week ever. My Brother and Sister in Law are getting a divorce. No need to spill details because only the two involved know all the truth. I just know for me it was and is the worst pain ever. As you guys know that met Kathy at Boobs 2010 in Chicago we were really close friends. I called her my sister. They had been married for 15 years together for 18 so she's been in my life for a long time. Since I was 12. I went through a real hard time feeling all kinds of emotions. I didn’t want to lose her friendship because she was the closest girlfriend I had. My brother and I had lots of talks him telling me it wasn’t my fault. I was blaming my self for asking her to go out with me and my friends, I know she is grown and can make her own decisions, but I still am human so it’s natural for me to feel bad. My brother would tell me don’t stop talking to her and being her friend so I tried that, but it seemed like every time we would hang out no matter what we did something she would say or do would make me mad or hurt my feelings. I guess because I knew my brother was hurting. I would get over it not say anything and then wait till the next time. On my Birthday last weekend we had a huge falling out. The only part of the conversation that replays in my head is "Gail, you need to separate your emotions." How can I be friends with someone who wants me to be emotionless? That's just a huge thing I am dealing with right now. I am very close to my family and this hurts so much. I have never had to go through anything like this. My nephew is my life. I love him so much. He is 13. I try to spend a lot of time with him. The good thing about this if there ever was a good thing is that I did not turn to food to grieve. I walk and run more now haha... My very good friend Jon was going through a lot at the same time. I did not want to be a lone, so I moved in with him and he has been a Godsend to me really. I am so blessed because he kept me together. He does not even know what he did for me. He is the most amazing friend anyone can ever ask for. I would have fallen apart if it wouldn’t have been for him. I still don’t wanna go back home yet cause I love not being a lone. We have just a good system it just works. Brings me to Feb I did the Fight for Air climb at the Bank of America Tower here in jax. Our team was the Hall Climbers and we climbed 42 stories, 838 steps. Wow you hear me, Wow! Then it was my year and a half mark of my surgery. Oh what an awesome time I am having with this journey it is a whole new life. Unless you have been overweight your whole life and lose the weight you have no idea how much life is different now...People often say in these blogs they don’t want losing the weight to change them. Well it does. I am more open and vocal now than I ever have been. I have confidence that I have never had before. I might not be different, but I am just a butterfly coming out of my cocoon. Then it was my Brothers birthday lunch with the family of course. Then we had Valentine's Day which I spent with friends. No love, lots of losses but no loves yet haha... March I did the Gate River Run. Which is HUGE. It is one of the Nations largest 15k's (9.3 miles) I did not run I walked/jogged, but I finished. What a great and awesome feeling. I was the girl that over a year ago could not walk from the parking garage at work to my desk without breathing hard and now I have completed a 15k!!! My 30th Birthday was last weekend that what an awesome time I had. Awesome presents from my dad. Vera Bradley sunglasses prescription, the new Ipad that just came out, and a very nice Coach watch, and a hotel room on Amelia Island for three nights. My friends Brooke and Billy got me a big cookie cake. That is my favorite. Also, my really good friend Chris came into town from Nashville. I was able to have the whole week off work to spend with him and our friends. Joshua got me a nice case for my new Ipad. Lots of friends came out to dinner and we made a nice long week of it. I am so blessed and thankful....
All this leaves me to give you one more piece of sad news. I had signed up for Boobs 2011, but just realized that is the weekend my good friend is getting married. I am a bridesmaid, so I can not miss that. She would not be happy ha... I am very sad that I will not be able to make it. I had such a great time and was looking forward to seeing each of you again. :( I am very sorry.