I was catching up on some blogs that I follow today. Everyone has their struggles up and down. It is kind of scary. Being three months out I am still new to this whole process, so I am still learning day by day. I think by reading peoples blogs that you never stop learning. I also sit in my centers support group twice a month and realize more now that ever before that all we have inside us is a tool. We will only succeed if we use our tool to the best of our ability. I try to stay positive and I am really happy with my weight loss thus far, but to be quite honest I am scared of failure. I am getting to the point where people are noticing my weight loss and that gives me the biggest high, but what if I don't make it. What if I fail at this like all the other diets I have tried in the past. Does anyone ever have these feelings??? I have always said that all the other times didn't work cause my heart wasn't in it and now I know that I want it now more than ever and my heart is in it. Even my Dad tells people she is gonna do it all the way this time. I have done so well about being good and really trying to do well, but I guess I am only human to second guess myself and worry. ?????
Today has just been one of those days. Could use some love from my banding friends. :)
On a positive note. I did donate blood today. I did however, drive all the way to the town center about 35-40 min away to stand in line to realize that I forgot my Id and I drove all the way back home to get it and tried that again. That was the very beginning to my wretched day!
I also have this fear. During my psychological evaluation they asked what my biggest fear about the whole process was and I said - Losing all the weight, then gaining it all back. I do think that it's something we'll have to work at forever...even with the band. But I hope that the band makes it easier, and from what I understand, it should!
ReplyDeleteI think all of that face this fear, and not just once. But it is natural you know? I mean for most of us, this is not our first rodeo. We have been dieting for decades and have always failed. The best thing we can do is to not look at this as a diet. A diet is something short term and rigid. With the band, one thing I have learned is that we have to be forgiving of ourselves and realize if we have a bad food day or even week, we can get back on track with the help of the band. I have found that to be true. We all still get stuck in the hurry up mentality, and it takes awhile I think to realize this is really a long term journey and the band will help us, hopefully, break some of our vicious cycles that doom us.
ReplyDeleteAmy's right. We just pick up and go on about our business b/c this IS a lifestyle change and we are slowly figuring things out as we go!!!
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