I'M BACK

Where do you start when you have fallen off the wagon, but finally ready to get back at it??? Right where it all began right here from the week before my surgery I was on this blog with the wonderful friends I made. Some of us follow each other on facebook, so we still keep up with each other, but facebook is not a place I am totally honest with my journey. I think a lot of you would agree with that. With all that being sad here I go…


My life has been up and down over the last year with a failed relationship, too tight of a band, and weight gain I can successfully say 2012 was NOT the best year for me. Everyone has a story so now I have finally decided to be honest with myself and share my story. The first two and a half years of my surgery I was a beast! I was so committed I did everything I was told. I went to group therapy, had a blog, great support with friends and family, and worked out with a personal trainer three days a week. I was on FIRE the weight came off and I was feeling great, awesome, and fantastic. In March of 2012 I got real sick something was stuck like never before, and I had to call the dr on a Sunday. He met me at the office and took out all the fluid, so it would pass. He told me to come back in the next week to get it filled back up. I left for a cruise the next day. Boy or Boy never do that to a banded girl. I ate, ate, and ate. I was FReeeee! Ha.. I finally decided to go back in May and had gained 25 pounds yes in just those two months. I got a fill left the office and had the worst week of my life. I could not eat or drink anything at all. I lived like that for a week. I was completely miserable throwing up a lot. I went back into the dr and had to argue with him that something was wrong. Till finally he put me on the x-ray machine wear you can drink the white stuff and watch it go down, and it proved to him that I was extremely too tight. He loosen it and sent me on my way. I was angry at that point, so no more was I a good banding patient anymore. I tested everything and found out I could eat pretty much any and everything, so I did. Going through a bad break up in August I still wanted to just go back to the old way and use food for comfort. Then I found out my dr office was closing and had to pick a new dr. It was just so much and I didn’t want to do it.

I have a wonderful friend that was always on my case about the gaining, but I was not hearing him. He is a blessing in my life and I would not have had the courage to make the appointment without him. I continued to work out, but you can go to the gym and spend all the money on a personal trainer, but that still doesn’t work if the food you are putting inside you is not the right food. I am living proof of that. I finally got to my breaking point. All my clothes started not fitting. It is hot here and Florida and none of my shorts fit. I finally had to hit rock bottom with my self. Being over weight for my whole life I never got had the feeling people would say how they want to get back to where they where when they were smaller until now. When I look in the mirror I finally see it. It was like a semi truck hit me. All of the sudden I had to face it, so I made appointment with the Dr he actually did my surgery, but left the practice that I started with so I felt more comfortable going to someone I knew it was yesterday. I got tightened. It was a really good appointment. I gained 65 pounds. Wow that was so hard to type that, but the only way I am going to be able to totally get back is to be honest. I need my friends here that got me through. You guys are awesome and I am reaching out again just like I am the new be! I am blessed with a wonderful support system of great friends and family. I also have a wonderful man in my life who is a great supporter of me getting back on track.

I know I got a lot of catching up to do, but I am BACK! I still think about our BOOBs trip to Chicago all the time. I have missed you guys!!!! No matter what I do not feel like a failure. I have still kept off 100 pounds, so that in it self is achievement!