Vent Session

Has anyone else had one of those days where you just wanna eat EVERYTHING I tell you EVERYTHING??? Well I am having not only one of those days, but how about one of those weeks. I feel like I am losing my motivation. I need to knock myself back to reality and get back to it. I have done so well to just let it all go down the drain. It breaks my heart when people that email me and comment on my facebook about how good I am doing and they wish they could have my motivation while I feel like I have none these days. I have steady lost weight since I started this journey my year is next Wednesday. I have not gained any since my last appointment in July, but I had lost three pounds the week after my appointment and now gained those three back so I am right where I was when I left the dr two weeks ago. Ok, Ok so three pounds is nothing, but for me those three turns into thirty!!! I never ask for help, but I reached out to a friend yesterday. That was huge for me. Valerie is an awesome friend and I love her dearly. She is a fellow bandster that I met at my dr's office. We have become really good friends. It helps having close friends that totally get our "band issues." I have a huge group of family and friends that love me and support me, but none of them know where I am at emotionally right now with my inside struggle. I have a way of hiding sometimes. The one thing I fear the most through this whole process is coming this far and doing so well and then failing. I made a board one time at one of my small groups about six months there was a part of it that said. "I will achieve my goals and inspire others!" This board is still in my house on display I walked by it this morning read it and got an awful feeling in my stomach. I'll post the pictures of it. I don't think I ever blogged about it. My counselor Kristie that I used to see at my dr office gave us a handout it that project, so I made it. I had to email people ask them words that they thought of me, it has before, and during pictures on it. It was a really fun project. Thanks to all of you for being there. I can't wait till Chicago only 49 more days!!!